The First Steps

Surrogacy is obviously something I know very little about. So I started where all people go to learn about topics. Google. I quickly learned that Oklahoma doesn't really do much with surrogacy. I think its just the whole Bible Belt thing. There was a lot of information on it but I didn't know what was legit or just a random post. This is obviously something I took seriously and wanted to know how to be a part of it all.

I sent an email to my friend on Facebook who was in the middle of her 3rd surrogacy. She gave me a link to a website where couples looking for surrogates posted ads and surrogates posted ads. It gave me a starting point and some idea of what all was involved.

I filled out a few applications and my biggest concern was my weight and BMI. I know I'm a little overweight but I also know thats something I can fix so its not a showstopper. By now I really felt pretty certain I was going to do this and felt a tug at my heart I was supposed to do it..

I got one reply back and I was told I was denied because I was still breastfeeding. OK, well, I'm not ready to give that up quite yet but I'm not giving up either. Then in March 2011 I was contacted by Hilary Neiman. She is a lawyer in Maryland and from what I can tell from the website of The National Surrogacy and Adoption Center she specializes in international and family law. This firm works with couples in America and other countries.

I filled out another application for her and within a few weeks she paired me up with a couple from China. I filled out another application for them and it was kinda cool cause there was Chinese writing for the questions. I thought it was kinda neat.  They had been working with a clinic in Chicago and for a while it looked like I would go to Chicago but it never panned out. They asked for a few pics of me and Skye and really never heard much else.

Then in July Hilary said she found another IP (intended parent-the new vocabulary alone can be overwhelming.) He lived in Turkey and the clinic was in Cyprus. I got pretty excited about the idea of traveling to Cyprus. I knew with Skye and international travel it would be kind of a hassle but I was totally willing to do it for this man. A couple weeks passed and again, nothing.

I emailed Hilary and asked if this was normal. She said sometimes the IPs just get cold feet too. I can understand that. I just was hoping for this to work in my time table but I've quickly learned, that aint gonna happen!! lol

I got a voicemail last night from Hilary asking me if I got her email and there is a couple interested in me. She has never called me before so I'm feeling pretty positive that this time it will actually happen, or atleast it will go a little further in the process. I had set up an email rule for her emails to go directly into a personal folder and sometimes I forgot to check the folder so I overlooked her email about a couple in NYC trying to have a baby but haven't been able to. The fertility clinic is in Laguna, California. Not exactly Cyprus, but also a lot less of a hassle.

I spoke to Hilary on the phone and she told me a bit about the couple, George and Lisa Lee. They are an Asian-American couple who have been trying to have a baby and even have had one failed surrogacy already. Hilary told me to call the clinic in CA to set up a phone conversation. Some medical tests will need to be done here in Oklahoma and then if all goes well I should be in Laguna for the transfer sometime in November/December. I think my heart will just bust open for this couple if thier second surrogacy doesn't work either.

I'm so excited. I've been so excited this whole time at just the idea of this all happening. I'm not gonna lie, the money involved will be nice but it really isn't even hardly a factor at all. I just cant imagine wanting to be a parenting and not being able to. It doesn't make since to me that my uterus is perfectly healthy and able to carry a life and I dont even want to use it. I'm having monthly periods for no reason at all now. I could totally put my uterus to good use and help someone out. Spelling it out like that might land me on Anderson Cooper's Ridiculist, but thats just sorta how I feel.

So thats sorta been the process from Jan of this year up till now. Next step is all the medical test/evals. Once I get through those I'll let you know how it all goes. I hope they show I'm healthy enough to do this. I feel healthy enough but keep your fingers crossed for me and for this couple and hopefully for their new baby =)) !