I just wanted to start a blog dedicated to surrogacy cause I think this is going to be a big part of my life for a while. Some people might think this is a little too far out there or might not support the idea of surrogacy, but I find the whole idea of it quite miraculous and generous. Its a pure gift of love and I'm so excited about deciding to do this.
The first time it ever crossed my mind was watching Phoebe on Friends having her brother's triplets. The show really made the whole idea of it so cute. I never thought something like that would happen to me though.
Many of my friends started having babies in their 20s. I waited quite a while till I knew I could support a baby and give her the life she deserves. But I craved the idea of being a mom and everything that went along with it. I was so curious about what it must be like to be pregnant and to know a human life is actually forming and growing inside of you. A little heart, a little hand, a little liver, fingernails, eyelashes...amazing. I wanted to know what it felt like to get kicked from the inside out and to feel her hick-up and roll around. I even wanted to know what labor felt like. Something no man will ever have the joy or privilege of experiencing.
I waited about 10 years longer than many of my friends and when I finally was pregnant I was ecstatic! I swore I would not once complain about backaches or stretchmarks or morning sickness or baby in an uncomfortable position. I just wanted to enjoy the whole experience and really take it in.
I had a relatively smooth pregnancy. Little bit of morning sickness, hardly any stretch marks, I hardly even showed. Towards the end my doctor was worried about my blood pressure and pre-eclampsia but it all worked out fine. I did form some kidney stones in my 3rd trimester but I kinda dont relate those to the pregnancy. It may have been my change in diet or hormones but it wasn't hurting Skye, besides me being possibly dehydrated, so I just dont count the kidney issues as issues. And all those questions and curiosities I had got answered. It was amazing to feel that little creature in me moving around. I loved all the attention I got and people rubbing my belly like a little buhda. I loved the freedom of being fat and wearing comfy maternity clothes. I totally rocked the whole "maternity glow" thing!!
I loved it. And I love having a daughter. I loved having a preemie, having a newborn, having an infant, having a toddler, and look forward to the school age years, tweens, teens and so on. Being a parent is the best thing ever and the hardest. I dont need to double the difficulty by having two kids. I no longer need to know what its like to give everything you have when you think theres nothing left to give cause you are so tired. I dont need the poopy diapers or the tiredness or lugging around an infant carseat carrier. When it comes to raising Skye, I've enjoyed all those things, I dont need to relive them and I look forward to discovering what it means to be a parent of a 3 year old, 4 yr old, 10 yr old, 16 yr old...Im totally looking forward to those days but it makes me sad to think I'll never be pregnant again. To be pregnant again meant to be a parent again and I just dont want to take any attention away from Skye. She deserves 100% of me. I dont want to have to worry about 2 kids being sick, or driving 2 kids to after school activities, or conflicts of schedule or "I wanna watch Dora" vs "I wanna watch Mickey Mouse", "I want Taco Bell" vs "I want McDonalds." I just want to love on Skye.
Im friends with my doctor that delivered Skye on Facebook and saw she and her husband were expecting via surrogate. I didn't realize she was having fertility issues. How sick is that?? Heres is this amazing OB/GYN doctor whose life's work is dedicated to delivering babies and she cant have her own. I cant imagine delivering baby after baby and each time wishing you were the one having the baby. My heart totally went out to her and her husband and I was so happy for them once they got pregnant. A series of events also led me to be friends with their GC and she has really made me realize that being a surrogate isn't such a far fetched idea and could be something I'd be able to do.
How cool is that? I could be pregnant again and not have to raise the baby. I know soooo many couples who try so hard and have so many disappointments a long the way who so deserve to be parents. You just know they'd be awesome at it and some kid is really missing out. I hold Skye and thank God every night she is in my life and my life is what it is today because of her. My life has meaning like never before and nobody should be denied that just cause of fertility issues.
The miracles of modern medicine are, lets face it, endless. Its like back in biblical days God knew He had to be the one directly performing the miracles cause this type of technology didn't exist back then. But He knew there'd come a day He could let us make our own miracles. Everything from Lasic, to organ donation to surrogacy. I feel He gave us the minds to create machines that make miracles happen and once He blessed off on them- it was up to us to be open-minded enough to take advantage of them. And to be part of that miracle for someone else...well, I'm honored.
I'm honored God chose me to be a parent and I'm honored this couple chose me to make them parents. I cant wait to see where all this takes me.
No comments:
Post a Comment